


Bleach

by pinkhairnoshoes



Series: Riding in Cars with Captain America [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Peter Parker, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Don't Judge Me, Fluff and Humor, I Don't Even Know, Inappropriate Humor, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Parent-Child Relationship, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter is a Little Shit, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Teen Peter Parker, anal bleaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 17:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkhairnoshoes/pseuds/pinkhairnoshoes
Summary: This is my little series about Steve Rogers picking up his two adoptive children up from school each day. Together with Tony Stark he's adopted Peter Parker and my original character Beverly. The two children like to ask FRIDAY or their Pops strange questions on the ride home. It usually ends up with Steve being upset and scolding them. They're just little short drabbles.In this one, Peter just wants FRIDAY to answer his question and for everyone else in the car to be quiet.





	Bleach

“Stop talking to FRIDAY, I’m trying to drive,” Steve complains before shouting at a guy trying to cut him off.

Peter lets out a sigh, feeling hopelessly bored as they have been stuck in traffic for a half hour already. 

“FRIDAY, where can I get my asshole bleached?” Peter asks disinterestedly.

“Wait FRIDAY, why do people bleach their assholes?” Beverly asks from the backseat.

“This woman on the internet said it made her feel like a virgin again—” FRIDAY starts to explain

“What did I just say?” Steve shouts over the AI.

“A favorite among porn stars and people who—” FRIDAY’s voice continues over the speakers.

“FRIDAY! I said stop!” Steve yells.

“You’re very shouty today, maybe you need a time-out,” Beverly says off-handedly.

“Excuse me? You want to say that again?” Steve snaps.

“I can’t hear!” Peter complains but no-one is listening to him. “How am I going to know if my asshole needs to be bleached? No-one is going to want to date me.”

“FRIDAY, how long should you put a 100 year old in time-out?” Beverly asks.

“According to the CDC, time-out usually lasts between 2 and 5 minutes for toddlers and preschoolers. A good rule of thumb is to give 1 minute of time-out for every year of the child's age. This means that a 2-year-old would sit in time-out for 2 minutes, and a 3-year-old would have a 3-minute time-out. So 100 minutes would be a good amount of time.”

“What the hell are they doing up there? The whole road is closed and I can’t get turned around,” Steve complains as he focuses on the traffic again.

“FRIDAY, can you repeat the anal bleaching thing?”

“Dammit Peter, I said no. FRIDAY tell me how to get out of this traffic.”

“Can’t you just to talk to them? Like I’m Captain America and I need to get through,” Peter suggests.

“I’m not doing that,” Steve says annoyed.

“Dad would do it,” Beverly pipes up from the backseat.

“Tony is an idiot.”

“Wow, I can’t wait until I grow up and have a marriage like you two,” Peter says sarcastically.


End file.
